Leaving out the gamblers, the burglars, and the plumbers, perhaps we do put our trust in God after a fashion. But, after all, it is an overstatement. If the cholera or black plague should come to these shores, perhaps the bulk of the nation would pray to be delivered from it, but the rest would put their trust in The Health Board.

A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.

I was in one of the most grand attitudes I ever struck, with my arm stretched up pointing to the sun. It was a noble effect. You could see the shudder sweep the mass like a wave.

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.

To be, or not to be; that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life.

A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes.