Leaving out the gamblers, the burglars, and the plumbers, perhaps we do put our trust in God after a fashion. But, after all, it is an overstatement. If the cholera or black plague should come to these shores, perhaps the bulk of the nation would pray to be delivered from it, but the rest would put their trust in The Health Board.

The institution of royalty in any form is an insult to the human race.

An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.

The world doesn't owe you anything. It was here first.

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes we had brought from the wilds of America. They observed that we talked loudly at table sometimes. They noticed that we looked out for expenses and got what we conveniently could out of a franc, and wondered where in the mischief we came from. In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.

Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.