Why should anybody want to save the human race, or damn it either? Does God want its society? Does Satan?

Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger skin, or a cowtail, could make a badge of distinction and be the beginning of a monarchy.

Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?

The minute we get reconciled to a person, how willing we are to throw aside little needless punctilios and pronounce his name right.

But it warn't no time to be sentimentering.

Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off; it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn't break my bonds.