Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?

It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.

I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it.

The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

There have been innumerable Temporary Seekers after the Truth-have you ever heard of a permanent one?

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

It is the Creator´s Grand Army, and he is the Commander-in-Chief... With these facts before you, now try to guess man´s chiefest pet name for this ferocious Commander-in-Chief? I will save you the trouble but you must not laugh. It is Our Father in Heaven.