No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.

But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of therest, because Aunt Sally she's going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can't stand it. I been there before.

The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money off them.

The cigar-box which the European calls a 'lift' needs but to be compared with our elevators to be appreciated. The lift stops to reflect between floors. That is all right in a hearse, but not in elevators. The American elevator acts like a man's patent purge-it works.

There are some books that refuse to be written. They stand their ground year after year and will not be persuaded. It isn't because the book is not there and worth being written -- it is only because the right form of the story does not present itself. There is only one right form for a story and if you fail to find that form the story will not tell itself.

The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.