Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute-but they all worship money.

July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so

If I can capture truth in its simplest form, beauty will follow like a sledgehammer.

Comparison is the death of joy.

He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.

The existing phrasebooks are inadequate. They are well enough as far as they go, but when you fall down and skin your leg they don't tell you what to say.

To be human is to have one's little modicum of romance secreted away in one's composition. One never ceases to make a hero of one's self, (in private,) during life, but only alters the style of heroism from time to time as the drifting years belittle certain gods of his admiration and raise up others in their stead.