Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late.
Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.