My heart goes out to anyone who is making his first appearance before an audience of human beings.

Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!

When a man stands on the verge of seventy-two you know perfectly well that he never reached that place without knowing what this life is - heartbreaking bereavement.

The public is the only critic whose judgment is worth anything at all.

Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.

We had an abundance of mangoes, papaias and bananas here, but the pride of the islands, the most delicious fruit known to men, cherimoya, was not in season. It has a soft pulp, like a pawpaw, and is eaten with a spoon.

Homely truth is unpalatable.