Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.

Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and a body ain’t got no business doing wrong when he ain’t ignorant and knows better.

I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.

What marriage is to morality, a properly conducted licensed liquor traffic is to sobriety.

When it comes down to pure ornamental cursing, the native American is gifted above the sons of men.

History has tried hard to teach us that we can't have good government under politicians. Now, to go and stick one at the very head of the government couldn't be wise.