Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.

It is human to exaggerate the merits of the dead.

Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

It is the Creator´s Grand Army, and he is the Commander-in-Chief... With these facts before you, now try to guess man´s chiefest pet name for this ferocious Commander-in-Chief? I will save you the trouble but you must not laugh. It is Our Father in Heaven.

But they (the infantry) had no use for boys of twelve and thirteen, and before I had a chance in another war, the desire to kill people to whom I had not been introduced had passed away.