Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.

Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.

The public is the only critic whose judgment is worth anything at all.

What are the proper proportions of a maxim? A minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.

I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.

Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, politics or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations and sympathies. Broadly speaking, there are none but corn-pone opinions. And broadly speaking, Corn-Pone stands for Self-Approval. Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people. The result is Conformity.

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.