Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.

When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble.

The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be?--it is the same the angels breathe.

The easy part of being an artist is figuring out the message that everyone else is ready to hear. The hard part is waiting for the proper lull to make the announcement.

Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange; for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired; but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'

The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.

Patriotism is merely a religion-love of country, worship of country, devotion to the country's flag and honor and welfare.