Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.

Literature is well enough, as a time-passer, and for the improvement and general elevation and purification of mankind, but it has no practical value.

That is a society editor, sitting there elegantly dressed, with his legs crossed in that indolent way, observing the clothes the ladies wear, so that he can describe them for his paper and make them out finer than they are and get bribes for it and become wealthy.

No church property is taxed and so the infidel and the atheist and the man without religion are taxed to make up the deficit.

I was exceedingly delighted with the waltz, and also with the polka. These differ in name, but there the difference ceases

Life ain't about how fast you run or how high you climb, It's all about how good you bounce. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

The Moral Sense teaches us what is right, and how to avoid it-when unpopular.