The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.

If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction.

My idea of our civilization is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogances, meannesses and hypocrisies.

I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me.

Ignorance is not not knowin' - Ignorance is knowin' what ain't so.

Congress: America's only true criminal class.