The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.

The xmas holidays have this high value: that they remind Forgetters of the Forgotten, & repair damaged relationships.

Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.

I would much prefer to suffer from the clean incision of an honest lancet than from a sweetened poison.

Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him; has passion for him; sits up nights to admire him; yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea.

To be vested with enormous authority is a fine thing; but to have the on-looking world consent to it is finer.

So you see, the quality of humor is not a personal or a national monopoly. It's as free as salvation, and, I am afraid, far more widely distributed. But it has its value, I think. The hard and sordid things of life are too hard and too sordid and too cruel for us to know and touch them year after year without some mitigating influence, some kindly veil to draw over them, from time to time, to blur the craggy outlines, and make the thorns less sharp and the cruelties less malignant.