A great, great deal has been said about the weather, but very little has ever been done.

Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

My memory was never loaded with anything but blank cartridges.

The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.

I can't do no literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and looking around for a defendant.