Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.

The old saw says - 'Let a sleeping dog lie.' Experience knows better; experience says, If you want to convince do it yourself.

It is an important thing, in our never-ending pursuit of happiness, to stop and just be happy for a while.

I was exceedingly delighted with the waltz, and also with the polka. These differ in name, but there the difference ceases

Why was the human race created? Or at least why wasn't something creditable created in place of it? God had His opportunity. He could have made a reputation. But no, He must commit this grotesque folly - a lark which must have cost Him a regret or two when He came to think it over and observe effects.

There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.

If ignorance is bliss, why isn't the world happier?