God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

Conformity—the natural instinct to passively yield to that vague something recognized as authority.

Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth

Humor is the good natured side of a truth.

The introduction of homeopathy forced the old school doctor to stir around and learn something of a rational nature about his business. You may honestly feel grateful that homeopathy survived the attempts of the allopaths to destroy it.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.

It is a dear and lovely disposition, and a most valuable one, that can brush away indignities and discourtesies and seek and find the pleasanter features of an experience.