Do one thing every day you don't want to do.

If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.

The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might.

I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have resumed - in a modified way - 4 smokes a day instead of 40. This will have a good effect. On the bank balance.

I have been reading the morning paper. I do it every morning-knowing well that I shall find in it the usual depravities and basenesses and hypocrisies and cruelties that make up civilization, and cause me to put in the rest of the day pleading for the damnation of the human race. I cannot seem to get my prayers answered, yet I do not despair.

The inability to forget is far more devastating than the inability to remember.