But it was ever thus, all through my life: whenever I have diverged from custom and principle and uttered a truth, the rule has been that the hearer hadn't strength of mind enough to believe it.

Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.

Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.

In our day we don't allow a hundred and thirty years to elapse between glimpses of a marvel. If somebody should discover a creek in the county next to the one that the North Pole is in, Europe and America would start fifteen costly expeditions thither; one to explore the creek, and the other fourteen to hunt for each other.

Good judgment comes from experience. And where does experience come from? Experience comes from bad judgment.

The best and most telling speech is not the actual impromptu one but the counterfeit of it.

It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.