He had only one vanity; he thought he could give advice better than any other person.

Adam was the author of sin, and I wish he had taken out an international copyright on it.

Eight grown Americans out of ten dread the coming of the Fourth, with its pandemonium and its perils, and they rejoice when it is gone-if still alive.

I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

We get our morals from books. I didn't get mine from books, but I know that morals do come from books- theoretically at least.

As one boy said, 'I was thinking all these horrible thoughts about my parents when suddenly it hit me-if they're all that bad, how come I'm so wonderful'

I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.