The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.

Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.

College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.

...one of the first achievements of the legislature was to institute a ten-thousand-dollar agricultural fair to show off forty dollars' worth of pumpkins in - however, the Territorial legislature was usually spoken of as the "asylum".

Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.

That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.