I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.

As a rule, we go about with masks, we go about looking honest, and we are able to conceal ourselves all through the day.

Is it, perhaps, possible that there are two kinds of Civilization-one for home consumption and one for the heathen market?

I don't believe there is anything in the whole earth that you can't learn in Berlin except the German language.

Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.

Such is professional jealousy; a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself. There is no feeling of brotherhood among these people. Indeed, they always resent it when I call them brother. To show how far their ungenerosity can carry them, I will state that I offered to let Prof. H--y publish my great theory as his own discovery; I even begged him to do it; I even proposed to print it myself as his theory. Instead of thanking me, he said that if I tried to fasten that theory on him he would sue me for slander.

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.