I don't believe there is anything in the whole earth that you can't learn in Berlin except the German language.

To gnaw on is human, towards digest, divine.

I would rather go to bed with Lillian Russell stark naked than Ulysses S Grant in full military regalia.

The average man is what his environment and his superstitions have made him; and their function is to make him an ass. He can't add up three or four new circumstances together and perceive what they mean; it is beyond him. He is not capable of observing for himself; he has to get everything at second-hand. If what are miscalled the lower animals were as silly as man is, they would all perish from the earth in a year.

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being, of even the highest intelligence and culture, delivers an opinion upon a matter apart from his particular and especial line of interest, training and experience, it will always be an opinion of so foolish and so valueless a sort that it can be depended upon to suggest to our Heavenly Father that the human being is another disappointment and that he is no considerable improvement upon the monkey.

Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.