I could forgive the boy, now, if he'd committed a million sins!

If one is honest there is no need to remember.

The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.

A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes; when bad, he is entitled to none at all.

If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.

Man never creates, he only recombines the lines and colors of his own existance.

I love to revel in philosophical matters-especially astronomy. I study astronomy more than any other foolishness there is. I am a perfect slave to it. I am at it all the time. I have got more smoked glass than clothes. I am as familiar with the stars as the comets are. I know all the facts and figures and have all the knowledge there is concerning them. I yelp astronomy like a sun-dog, and paw the constellations like Ursa Major.