There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency - and a virtue, and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency - and a vice.

We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.

Conformity—the natural instinct to passively yield to that vague something recognized as authority.

I hate editors, for they make me abandon a lot of perfectly good English words.

There is a great difference between feeding parties to wild beasts and stirring up their finer feelings in an inquisition. One is the system of degraded barbarians, the other of enlightened civilized people.

If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.

More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father; He is always longing for the love of His children and trying to get it on the cheapest and laziest terms He can invent.