A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt

There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.

There is no accounting for human beings.

... the English alphabet is pure insanity..., It can hardly spell any word in the language with any degree of certainty.

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

The laws of Nature take precedence of all human laws. The purpose of all human laws is one - to defeat the laws of Nature. This is the case among all the nations, both civilized and savage. It is a grotesquerie, but when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.

Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.