The catfish is Plenty good enough fish for anyone

The only very marked difference between the average civilized man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted.

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.

Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.

We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes

He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.

It is an important thing, in our never-ending pursuit of happiness, to stop and just be happy for a while.