The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.

Life becomes fully understandable only the moment we realise that we are all mad.

Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.

France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France.

An injurious truth has no merit over an injurious lie. Neither should ever be uttered. The man who speaks an injurious truth, lest his soul be not saved if he do otherwise, should reflect that that sort of a soul is not strictly worth saving.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.