I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.

We can't reach old age by another man's road.

The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury.

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.

One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.

It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.

Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life.