Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame.

You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.

December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February.

I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

You know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and enchanting and wonderful that it is just a fearful joy to be alive and look at it; and you know how you gaze, and your lips turn dry and your breath comes short, but you wouldn't be anywhere but there, not for the world.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.