Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms.

The church is always trying to get other people to reform, it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little, by way of example

The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or a newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.

Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.

So much blood has been shed by the Church because of an omission from the Gospel: “Ye shall be indifferent as to what your neighbor's religion is.” Not merely tolerant of it, but indifferent to it. Divinity is claimed for many religions; but no religion is great enough or divine enough to add that new law to its code.