It is plain that there is one moral law for heaven and another for the earth. The pulpit assures us that wherever we see suffering and sorrow, which we can relieve and do not, we sin, heavily. There was never yet a case of suffering or sorrow which God could not relieve. Does He sin then?

How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it.

Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.

When you catch an adjective, kill it - perhaps the best possible advice for budding writers.

France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France.

My own luck has been curious all my literary life; I never could tell a lie that anyone would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.

Life becomes fully understandable only the moment we realise that we are all mad.