A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.
Mark TwainThey all laid their heads together like as many lawyers when they are gettin' ready to prove that a man's heirs ain't got any right to his property.
Mark TwainThese peopleยดs God has shown them by a million acts that he respects none of the Bibleยดs statues. He breaks every one of them himself, adultery and all.
Mark TwainProbably there is an imperceptible touch of something permanent that one feels instinctively to adhere to true humour, whereas wit may be the mere conversational shooting up of "smartness"--a bright feather, to be blown into space the second after it is launched...Wit seems to be counted a very poor relation to Humour....Humour is never artificial.
Mark TwainYou know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and enchanting and wonderful that it is just a fearful joy to be alive and look at it; and you know how you gaze, and your lips turn dry and your breath comes short, but you wouldn't be anywhere but there, not for the world.
Mark Twain