The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan has eight hundred wives. This almost amounts to bigamy.

The [Kodak is] the only witness I have encountered in my long experience that I couldn't bribe.

What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?

No sane man can be happy, for to him life is real, and he sees what a fearful thing it is.

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it's that they know so many things that just aren't so.

...heaven for climate, and hell for society.