The true charm of pedestrians does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking.

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.

A historian who would convey the truth has got to lie. Often he must enlarge the truth by diameters, otherwise his reader would not be able to see it.

I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.

There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'.

Modesty died when clothes were born.

There is no security in life, only opportunity.