As to the human race. There are many pretty and winning things about the human race. It is perhaps the poorest of all the inventions of all the gods but it has never suspected it once. There is nothing prettier than its naive and complacent appreciation of itself. It comes out frankly and proclaims without bashfulness or any sign of a blush that it is the noblest work of God. It has had a billion opportunities to know better, but all signs fail with this ass. I could say harsh things about it but I cannot bring myself to do it-it is like hitting a child.

My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.

If you don't know how to pronounce a word, say it loudly. Do not compound mispronunciation with inaudibility

Ignorance is not not knowin' - Ignorance is knowin' what ain't so.

He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.

Anybody can have ideas-the difficulty is to express them without squandering a quire of paper on an idea that ought to be reduced to one glittering paragraph.

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat.