Where are there are two desires in a man's heart he has no choice between the two but must obey the strongest, there being no such thing as free will in the composition of any human being that ever lived.

The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.

Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve, the first woman, and Satan, the first consultant.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.

If the Christians of America could be persuaded to vote God and a clean ticket, it would bring about a moral revolution that would be incalculably beneficent. It would save the country.

A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase.