The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it; and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.

Being made merely in the image of God but not otherwise resembling him enough to be mistaken by anybody but a very near sighted person.

College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.

Frankenstein took some flesh and bones and blood and made a man out of them; the man ran away and fell to raping and robbing and murdering everywhere, and Frankenstein was horrified and in despair, and said, I made him, without asking his consent, and it makes me responsible for every crime he commits. I am the criminal, he is innocent.

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.

A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?