Some of us cannot be optimists, but all of us can be bigamists

I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.

Always tell the truth. That way you don't have to remember what you said.

One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.

Between believing a thing and thinking you KNOW is only a small step and quickly taken.

...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel; at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable; and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'

A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom when he can no longer be led by the nose.