Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.

The true pioneer of civilization is not the newspaper, not religion, not the railroad - but whiskey!

If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time.

There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.

Now I can only pray that there may be a God -- and a heaven -- or something better.

It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the burden

There is one notable thing about our Christianity: bad, bloody, merciless, money-grabbing, and predatory. The invention of hell measured by our Christianity of today, bad as it is, hypocritical as it is, empty and hollow as it is, neither the deity nor his son is a Christian, nor qualified for that moderately high place. Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilled.