There has been only one Christian. They caught and curcified him-early.

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.

It was on the 10th day of May - 1884 - that I confessed to age by mounting spectacles for the first time, and in the same hour I renewed my youth, to outward appearance, by mounting a bicycle for the first time. The spectacles stayed on.

The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain.

Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.