My father was a Saint Bernard, my mother was a Collie, but I am a Presbyterian.

Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

I should have been glad to acquire some sort of idea of Hindu theology, ... but the difficulties were too great.

I hope all of us may eventually be together in everlasting peace and bliss -- except the inventor of the #‎ telephone .

No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live.

Jesus died to save men - a small thing for an immortal to do - and didn't save many, anyway. But if he had been damned for the race, that would have been act of a size proper to a god, and would have saved the whole race.