It is not like studying German, where you mull along, in a groping, uncertain way, for thirty years; and at last, just as you think you've got it, they spring the subjunctive on you, and there you are. No- and I see now plainly enough, that the great pity about the German language is, that you can't fall off it and hurt yourself. There is nothing like that feature to make you attend strictly to business.
Mark TwainHeaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain.
Mark TwainAre you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?
Mark TwainThe human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
Mark TwainThe best and most telling speech is not the actual impromptu one but the counterfeit of it.
Mark TwainWhy was the human race created? Or at least why wasn't something creditable created in place of it? God had His opportunity. He could have made a reputation. But no, He must commit this grotesque folly - a lark which must have cost Him a regret or two when He came to think it over and observe effects.
Mark Twain