When in doubt, tell the truth. That maxim I did invent, but never expected it to be applied to me. I did say, "When you are in doubt," but when I am in doubt myself I use more sagacity.

I would much prefer to suffer from the clean incision of an honest lancet than from a sweetened poison.

The gods offer no rewards for intellect. There was never one yet that showed any interest in it.

Presbyterianism without infant damnation would be like the dog on the train that couldn't be identified because it had lost its tag.

What's the use you learning to do right , when it's troublesome to do right and it ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

It is hopeless for the occasional visitor to try to keep up with Chicago-she outgrows his prophecies faster than he can make them. She is always a novelty; for she is never the Chicago you saw when you passed through the last time.