Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money off them.

Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds.

What a lie it is to call this a free country, where none but the unworthy and undeserving may swear.

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

I never could keep a promise. I do not blame myself for this weakness, because the fault must lie in my physical organization. It is likely that such a very liberal amount of space was given to the organ which enables me to make promises that the organ which should enable me to keep them was crowded out. But I grieve not. I like no half-way things. I had rather have one faculty nobly developed than two faculties of mere ordinary capacity.

We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy to us.

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'