I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

That reminds me to remark, in passing, that the very first official thing I did, in my administration-and it was on the first day of it, too-was to start a patent office; for I knew that a country without a patent office and good patent laws was just a crab, and couldn't travel any way but sideways or backways.

Shall we go on conferring our Civilization upon the peoples that sit in darkness, or shall we give those poor things a rest?

Look at the mother of Washington! She raised a boy that could not tell a lie--could not tell a lie! But he never had any chance. It might have been different if he had belonged to the Washington Newspaper Correspondents' Club

Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.

It is a shameful thing to insult a child.

Life is short, break the rules.