I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

There's plenty of boys that will come hankering and gruvvelling around when you've got an apple, and beg the core off you; but when they're got one, and you beg for the core, and remind them how you give them a core one time, they take a mouth at you, and say thank you 'most to death, but there ain't a-going to be no core.

I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.

You don't know about me, without you have read a book by the name of 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,' but that ain't no matter. That book was made by a Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly.

Comparison is the death of joy.

It is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and not kick.

If your mother tells you to do a thing, it is wrong to reply that you won't. It is better and more becoming to intimate that you will do as she bids you, and then afterwards act quietly in the matter according to the dictates of your better judgment.