Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'

The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.

Therein lies the defect of revenge: it's all in the anticipation; the thing itself is a pain, not a pleasure; at least the pain is the biggest end of it.

Humor is like a frog; if you dissect it, it dies.

Simplified spelling is all right, but, like chastity, you can carry it too far.

Good wine needs no bush; a jug is the thing.

All publishers are Columbuses. The successful author is their America. The reflection that they-like Columbus-didn't discover what they expected to discover, and didn't discover what they started out to discover, doesn't trouble them. All they remember is that they discovered America; they forget that they started out to discover some patch or corner of India.