You want to be very careful about lying; otherwise you are nearly sure to get caught.

Duties are not performed for duty's sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty - the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself.

I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's.

It is curious and interesting to notice what an attraction a fussy, mincing, nickel-plated word has for you.

I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.

I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.

There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.