Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.

Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life.

First catch your Boer, then kick him.

The only people who should use the possessive 'we' are kings, newspaper editors, and persons with tapeworms.

A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment, anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.

Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.