The xmas holidays have this high value: that they remind Forgetters of the Forgotten, & repair damaged relationships.

A proud man is one who waits for a vacancy in the Trinity.

All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.

It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.

A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.

When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.

Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.