The xmas holidays have this high value: that they remind Forgetters of the Forgotten, & repair damaged relationships.

If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and furnish him with his orders: Depart into the uttermost corners of the earth and, diligently do your appointed work. Persecute the sick child, settle upon its eyes, its face, its hands, and gnaw and pester and sting, worry and fret and madden the worn and tried mother who watches by the child and humbly prays for mercy and relief with the pathetic faith of the deceived and the unteachable.

For a male person bric-a-brac hunting is about as robust a business as making doll-clothes.

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

He wa'n't no common dog, he wa'n't no mongrel; he was a composite. A composite dog is a dog that is made up of all the valuable qualities that's in the dog breed-kind of a syndicate; and a mongrel is made up of all riffraff that's left over.

A German joke is no laughing matter.

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.