Humor is man's greatest blessing.

We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made, or only just happened - Jim he allowed they was made, but I allowed they happened; I judged it would have took too long to make so many. Jim said the moon could a laid them; well that looked kind of reasonable, so I didn't say nothing against it, because I've seen a frog lay most as many, so of course It could be done.

Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven.

God was left out of the Constitution but was furnished a front seat on the coins of the country.

Which is him?" The grammar was faulty, maybe, but we could not know, then, that it would go in a book someday.

The convention missionaries call "modesty" has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice.

A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.