Do your duty today and repent tomorrow.

Some things you can't find out; but you will never know you can't by guessing and supposing: no, you have to be patient and go on experimenting until you find out that you can't find out.

Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.

When politics enter into municipal government, nothing resulting therefrom in the way of crimes and infamies is then incredible. It actually enables one to accept and believe the impossible.

A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.

One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.

Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.