Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.

A man may have no bad habits and have worse

It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.

You may have noticed that the less I know about a subject the more confidence I have, and the more new light I throw on it.

Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.

...the circumstances and the atmosphere always have so much to do in directing a conversation, especially a German conversation, which is only a kind of an insurrection, anyway.

If work were so pleasant, the rich would keep it for themselves.